Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize