if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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