he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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