remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
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birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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