Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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