No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
