Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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