I feel great
I just peed on a car
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
