cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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