You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
