Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
