i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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