I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
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