i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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