Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I love you. Go after that dick
I want a musical about memes.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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