my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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