you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
