i don't like sucking hair
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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