my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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