I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
