at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
