is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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