I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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