I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
