My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
