The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
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