I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I don't think brook has ever known best
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
