So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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