Are we in a gay sports bar?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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