I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Me too!
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
