wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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