It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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