I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
