I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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