First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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