I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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