You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
