Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
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Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
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I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize