Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
