so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
