Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
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