You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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