i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
