I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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