Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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