i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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