I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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