why im i the only drunk person in the library?
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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