I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
