Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
