bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I have post one night stand depression
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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