They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
