i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
