I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize