ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
