so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
