Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
soo... how was my night?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
