How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize