He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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