Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
