is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
