i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
