I haven't been this sober since birth.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize