The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
