I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Randomize
