garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
