how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
