I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
