i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
