Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
