last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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